Tips for a Stress-Free Transition into School Mode

Summer is nearly over and school will soon be back in session! The new school year can be both exciting and stressful for children of all ages. You can alleviate much of your child’s anxieties and help them transition smoothly from summer-mode to school-mode with these practical tips. 

1. Talk about Their Fears 

Even if your child seems the epitome of cool and calm, they could be harboring some anxiety about the upcoming school year. Set aside frequent occasions, in a relaxed setting, to provide them with opportunities to share their feelings with you, one-on-one. Be sure these occasions suit your child’s personality and needs; some kids might be more likely to open up while playing a board game or before a bedtime story, while others will do so while shopping or taking a hike. Be sure to keep your communication a conversation, rather than an interrogation. Perhaps you could share a stressful experience of your own, and how talking about it helped? If they insist all is well, be sure they understand that you are always there for them.

2. Calm Their Jitters 

As we age, many of the fears and anxieties we suffered as children and adolescents become distant, foggy memories – or even forgotten. Young people worry about numerous things, some seemingly inconsequential (what to wear the first day, will so-and-so like my new backpack...), as well as monumentally serious issues that older generations never had to confront, such as school shootings. 

Do what you can before the first day of classes to ease their anxieties. Host a small gathering of your child’s friends near summer’s end so they can share their thoughts, fears, and excitement. A visit to a new school, a walk to the new homeroom classroom, arrange to meet the teacher and another classmate... these preemptive actions can transform dread into anticipation. 

If your child shares a fear that you aren’t sure how to respond to, be honest and tell them you don’t have the answer, but you will seek it from a knowledgeable source. Then, follow through for your child.

3. Establish Clear Rules & Expectations

Make rules and expectations perfectly clear. Some family rules and guidelines can change as a child matures. Before the school year starts, be sure your children understand the rules as they apply to each of them, and be prepared to explain why. Children of all ages have a great “injustice” detector, and may feel that they are being punished, when in fact your intentions are protective. Listen to any of their concerns or complaints and address them with thoughtfulness. 

School rules are also subject to change (tardiness, attendance, cell phone and social media use, grade point average...). It’s best to review and discuss all current school rules before the first day of a new school year. Have your child acknowledge understanding of all the rules, before the conversation is ended. It may be helpful to have them typed as a document and placed somewhere for easy reference, and as a reminder to all.

4. Give Kids Some Control

During the school year, classes, extra-curricular sports, clubs, and homework keep most children beyond busy. How do you feel when you are locked into a tight schedule and every detail in your day has been decided for you? Allowing your child some control in their daily life will alleviate stress and offer opportunities for learning and growth. Here are several easy ways to give your child some control: 

• When shopping, let them pick out items they need: backpack, lunch bag or lunch box, water bottle, notebooks, comfortable shoes & clothing. Teens may prefer to shop with friends; give them a school supply budget to work with. 
• Let children decide what clothing to wear to school. As long as they stay within the school’s guidelines and their choices are compatible with the weather, allow them the freedom to express themselves in this fundamental way. 
• Offer kids choices, whenever possible. Let them decide whether to eat one breakfast cereal over another, or an omelet rather than pancakes. If you pack their lunch, offer a few options. Ordering pizza for dinner? Ask them what type of crust and toppings they prefer. Sometimes, it truly is the little things in life... 
• Allow your children to choose their friends. Honor your child’s choices; welcome them into your home, where you can get to know their friends and provide some supervision.

5. Establish a Consistent, Healthy Routine

The consistency of daily routines helps children know what to expect, which can make them feel safe. Routines and rituals help prepare them for each part of the day. Knowing what to expect is conducive to smooth transitions of all kinds. 

Providing consistent routines for children should be balanced with providing them with options, a means of giving them some control, when appropriate. A typical school day routine, with options, might look something like this:

• Alarm sounds off at the same time every school day; weekends let them sleep in.
• Dressing for school: they choose what to wear.
• Breakfast is a must! Healthy options: oatmeal, pancakes, waffles, omelet, protein drink, breakfast bar. In addition, consider offering a multiple vitamin.
• Lunch with eco-friendly and healthy options: reusable box or bag and containers, healthy bars, fruits, nuts and trail mixes, salads or vegetable sticks and dip, nut better sandwich,
• After-school healthy snack options: fruits, energy bars, popcorn, microwaveable meals
• Extra-curricular activities: allow them to choose and pursue their interests
• Dinner: perhaps they’ve weighed in on an option the night before...
• Study-homework: Let them help create a designated learning space (not in front of the TV or other distractions)

·       Designated screen time: limited free social media & TV time, with your oversight

·       Play time, with friends of their choosing

·       Shared family time; they choose which game to play, book to read, where to walk...

·       Established pre-bedtime rituals and bedtime

6. Be Sure Your Child Gets Adequate Sleep

According to the Center for Disease Control, children and adolescents who do not get enough sleep have a higher risk of obesity, diabetes, injuries, poor mental health, and problems with attention and behavior. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine has recommended that children aged 6-12 should regularly sleep 9-12 hours per day, and teenagers aged 13-18 should sleep 8-10 hours. 

Adjust your child’s schedule and routines to facilitate adequate sleep. Avoid overstimulating activities for at least one hour before bedtime. Limiting light exposure and technology use in the evenings is recommended for children (and adults). Establishing a media curfew or banning the use of electronic devices in the bedroom can be helpful. (Parents, try to set a good example!)

While it’s probably fine that your child doesn’t get the recommended amount of sleep once in a while, any consistent shortage could lead to serious health issues. Consult your child’s pediatrician if you notice any ongoing changes in sleep patterns. Under their guidance, they may give the okay to try an over the counter children’s sleep aid supplement. 

7. Get Involved

Decades of research have shown that stu­dents whose par­ents are involved in their school have bet­ter atten­dance and behav­ior, earn bet­ter grades, demon­strate bet­ter social skills and adapt bet­ter to school. But with the demands of workplace and other obligations, how can parents find the time to get involved ? Here are a few suggestions, any one of which will show your child you care about them, their education, and their efforts.

• Get to know your child's teachers. Attend at least one parent-teacher meeting every semester. Ask how your child is doing and share concerns, such as difficulty in a subject, or bullying. Be a partner with the teacher, not an adversary.
• Stay up to date on school happenings. Ask your child specific questions about their classes and school events, questions that can’t be answered with a shrug, “yes” or “no.”
• Oversee their homework, and offer help if they need it. Over your head? If you’re both stumped, help them find a study group or arrange for a tutor.
• Attend school events, whenever possible. Showing up at concerts, sporting events, plays, debates, award ceremonies are all great ways to be supportive. Even if your child isn’t involved, they will appreciate your interest in their school life.
• Volunteer. From ice cream socials to classroom learning projects, most schools offer many volunteer opportunities for parents.
• Join a parent-teacher group. By organizing social events, family-oriented activities, and projects that bring people together, groups like these help build a sense of community among parents, teachers, and students. This sense of community fosters a supportive network and promotes school pride.
• Stay abreast of academic options. When your child is offered class and subject options, talk about each one with them, and listen to their reasons for selecting them. If it’s because their best friend is taking the class, or they heard it was easy, a deeper discussion is in order.

8. Provide Encouragement 

Reward your child’s efforts, rather than outcomes. Set realistic goals and celebrate the journey towards them. Your encouragement and positive feedback provides your child with motivation to keep trying, despite any setbacks along the way.